what is the proper etiquette for throwing a housewarming party?

Congratulations on that first house! You want to be careful not to be throwing a blatently obvious "gift snagging event," but at the same time…it’s ok to look forward to some gifts.

HOW TO THEME THE THING: Use all the same rules you would when throwing a holiday party. Whether you structure it more formally (like a Christmas Party) or more casually (like a 4th of July cookout), is up to you and your style of entertaining. The easiest thing in the world is to put out a variety of wines, do a huge container of canned sodas sitting in an ice bath, and then bring out the food a bit at a time, so that the stuff doesn’t get tired looking and picked through as later guests arrive. Having the thing Open House style allows people to come whenever their schedule permits (3-10 works well), and no one feels guilty about leaving when they need/want to.

INVITATIONS: I love the online variety for an event like this, so that all of your friends can see who else has been invited/accepted/declined, but some people find them to be impersonal. If you go for written invitations, you’ll find a huge variety at the Hallmark store, etc. I recommend sending the invitations 4 weeks in advance of the event. The event should convey clearly the words "Open House" if that’s what you’re planning. Make yourselves a list of who got you what as you get the gifts so that you don’t go crazy trying to remember later. I recommend opening your gifts as they are presented to you (with both of you there) and gushing over them immediately, rather than making a big deal about opening things in one fell swoop toward the end (a boring event during which no one feels they can leave). People are proud of their gifts, and want to see the look of surprise on your face, and those who opt not to give gifts or get you something very modest aren’t left feeling like cheapskates.

GETTING ONLY THE GIFTS YOU WANT: Pick one place (Lowe’s or Home Depot are good choices), and as people ask you what you want (oh, and they’ll ask, if not you then your friends will all talk to each other), graciousness dictates that you say something like, "Oh, you don’t have to get us anything, but such-and-such gift cards are always appreciated…." You have no idea how helpful a stack of gift cards can be when you go to plunk down money for that new refrigerator that the house really needs. Just remember that if you’re going to accept gifts, you’ve contracted to mail thank-you notes afterwards (buy them before the party, along with the stamps, so that you can get them in the mail promptly).

ACTIVITY IDEAS:
*Be prepared to give lots of tours, and make sure the whole house is accessable, as different clusters of people will naturally end up in different places.
*Buy a bucket of sidewalk chalk, and have everyone sign your driveway (or patio, or sidewalk). This is more fun than it sounds.
*Firing up the grill for ongoing self-serve BBQ can be fun, although you’ll find that someone will appoint themselves Chef and take it over…let them.
*Having trouble deciding on a new paint color? Put up paint chips and let people vote on their favorite. This is another one that’s more fun than you would think.
*I went to one housewarming party where the hosts raffled off a TV and put the proceeds toward home improvements. While some people might think this was tacky, there were more than a few people who were grateful for it, since they’d not gotten around to buying a gift, and this let them participate. It was actually kind of fun.
*If there are potentially bored kids coming, "hire" them to find and dispose of used paper cups/plates. You’ll be amazed how clean the place stays, and how much pride the kids will take in their work. It also keeps them out of trouble.
*Have guests guess at the square footage of the house, and give away a prize to the closest guesser.
*Have fun, but remember that when you’re throwing a party you’re working the thing as a host. It might be exhausting, but it’s nice to show people a good time.

Enjoy your new house, and look forward to the nice little tax deduction you’re about to get.

Just treat it like a regular party.
Buying a house is just an excuse.

There is a definite etiquette for this type of party. Invitations are the elegant way to go although it is acceptable to send e-vites. The invites should be breezy and creative with something like "We’ve feathered a new nest! Please join us for …….etc." Colored ink may be used.

The purpose of the party is to show your friends and family your new home (and celebrate your purchase of it) so graciously tell guests to please feel free to look around. Normally, this is rude but not for a housewarming. Food served should be buffet style, not sit-down since housewarming parties are not formal affairs. Finger foods are perfectly acceptable. Champagne is a wonderful treat, daytime or evening. Other alcohol, especially in the evening, is usually appreciated as you are "toasting" your new home.

If you do not desire gifts, indicate on the invite, at the bottom in smaller print, "No gifts please, just the pleasure of your company" or "The greatest gift you could give us in celebration of our new home is by sending a donation to the Ronald MCDonald House Charity [insert favorite charity here]." If you do want gifts do not mention anything about gifts on the invite. DO NOT open gifts while the guests are there. This is acceptable only at bridal parties, birthday parties, and southern sip-n-see’s.

Some people will host what is called an "open house", usually during the day only. On the invite indicate a time range like 1PM-5PM when invitees are welcome to stop by for refreshments and to look at the house. It is a less expensive form of a housewarming but good if you have a very large number of people who want to see the home and offer congratulations. Gifts are not expected but a small hostess gift (wine, candy) should be given by the invitee assuming they have proper manners.

I’ve never seen games played at a housewarming but it wouldn’t be unacceptable.

Congratulations!

Be yourself, and the warmth will come from those that accept you who you are…and yes, treat this party just as another…
Hope you had a good time

It’ll depend on your intent.

Personally, in this day and age and for anyone who is well off enough to own a computer (or even, have convenient enough accesss to one to use this forum) I’m of the opinion that it’s just kind of silly to expect gifts for housewarmings, weddings, or baby showers. I wouldn’t even want any. I’m too particular about my tastes in style and wouldn’t want to have to feel obligated to display a really ugly gift. Likewise I wouldn’t want to be so tacky as to return, exchange, or "re-gift" a gift. I would never, ever, dream of registering with any company to show my guests what gifts I would like them to give me.

To that last I never pay any attention to the registry. I buy people gifts I think they will like but are still special. As far as I’m concerned gift registries already violate etiquette by demanding what the gift should be. It makes the gift impersonal and meaningless.

Give formal invitayions via regular mail or email as would best suit your guests. If they’re not good at checking email they won’t get the invite. Depending on the people you are inviting you might only need to ask them next time you see them or just call.

My best friend got married a couple years ago. I didn’t get a mailed or emailed invite. She just called me. Her sister was the only bridesmaid but I was the only non-wedding party member asked to the rehersal dinner. My date was another good friend of ours (and her former roomie). He didn’t even get a phone call from her. She asked me if I’d go with him and I said "of course!" I explained to him why there was no actual invitation and he was just fine with it as well.

If the people you are inviting can only feel they are special if they get a written invitation then, well, what does that say?

I don’t think it’s similar to a bridal or baby shower except in two possible ways: 1) it’s a good excuse for a party, and 2) you want people to buy you things. If you don’t care if they buy you things then it’s just a good excuse to get together with your friends while showing them they are welcome in your new home.

Try to plan the food based on what you can afford, what you can prepare without stressing yourself out, and what both you and your guests might like. If you’re expecting gifts do be sure to pay more for the food and, possibly, stress out a bit over it. Also, then, consider providing beverages that have alcohol (unless it is a dry party, of course). If they are giving you housewarming gifts then they are, all together, spending a lot of money on you. Return the favour. How can you expect nice gifts if you aren’t willing to give to them as much?

Personally, I’d say skip the games. Unless these are people you routinely play games with when you get together it just becomes lame. I’d much rather go to a baby shower, great gift in hand, and eat crappy food, drink tap water, and skip the games as well as the prizes. The games are there so that people can win prizes. If they have a chance at a good prize they can feel paid back for their gift. If you must have games and prizes I’d suggest those visa or mastercard gift cards. Then you can’t even give them a gift card to a store they don’t like. Otherwise just treat it like any other party and let people mingle have fun with each other.

Always open gifts after everyone has gone. Bridal or baby shower, wedding, birthday, or housewarming ALWAYS open the gifts after. No one has to see their gift be the lamest of the bunch and you don’t have to try to fake loving that gift in front of them. Do write thank-you cards. Do personalize them. That each person for the exact gift they gave. Keep it simple and gracious. "Thank you so much for coming to my party. I had a lot of fun and hope you did as well. Thank you, also, for that wonderful sponge. It really will come in useful in my new place and it does look really great in my sink. Sincerely [your name]" If you plan on getting rid of the gift asap skip the bit about how great it looks where you’ve put it. You don’t want to have to feel like you should have it displayed every time that person visits. Just thank them for it. Do start off by thanking them for simply being there. The gift should always be secondary to their presence.